I'm frustrated, as a mom, as a women, as a "single parent", as a person in general. No one ever promised life would be fair, boy do I know that but really it seems like there should be some balance at some point and the more I seek it the more I find the unbalanced.
Why am I supposed to give so much of myself to my children, to my marriage, to my husband, to friends, to family and yet have nothing left for me? Why do I have to continue to try at something I've been working at alone, when I've given my all and more, when I've given up everything in my life I know, love, like and then when I finally get enough back bone to say enough is enough I'm expected to give more. We are supposed to take care of everyone else, care for everyone else give and do to others as you want one to do to you and yet there is nothing left for me.
Whats funny to me is everyone that says "Oh you have to take care of you first" are the first to be there with their hand out needing all of your time or wanting all of your time so if I have to take care of me and do what is best for me why am I still supposed to cater to you? What if what is best for me has NOTHING to do with you?
I trust no one now, that was/is a rough lesson to learn and I wonder if I will ever find a place in my heart where I will fully trust someone again. The closest people to me have hurt me so deep that it almost isn't even worth it anymore to try if this will always be the outcome.
