Thursday, July 31, 2008

A+ Care For Our Hospital............Yeah Right

Once again our hospital has given less then steller care. July 19th I went to L&D because of horrible pains coming every 15 min for over an hour and a half. I did everything I could NOT to go in because I knew I would be treated like crap, always have been why would this time be any different?

I was right, they kept me for exactly and hour, treated me like I didn't know what I was talking about managed to get a urine sample and send it because "obviously I was dehydrated". Ellie wouldn't stop moving which irrtated the nurse since she actually had to stand there and try to find her. I know what a pain in the ass right? So as soon as the hour was up, I was released, told yep I was dehydrated and given a lecture about drinking water like I was a child. Nothing was ever said about my urine.

Two days later, I spoke to my doc and we was less the thrilled with L&D but what can he do now? Took another urine sample like usual at appts, things were worked out and on my way I went.

Fast forward to today, phone rings and its my doc office saying when I was there last week they noticed after the tests come back that I have a UTI and she would like to call in a script for me. Oh really? Well okay here is my info I'll pick it up in a bit.

Can someone please tell me why when I was there at the hospital this was not caught, and why over a week later I'm dealing with pain that I think is just normal pregnancy pain and trying to suck it up since I don't want to be a pain in the ass, but it is actually more? I mean seriously I've had more then my share of UTI'S and this did not feel like one but when a patient comes in at 24 weeks saying she thinks she is having some sort of contractions and you take a urine sample why the heck wouldn't you keep her there until your sure nothing is going on? Why as patients are we scared to go to the hospital when thats where we are supposed to go to recieve good care and help but yet we get treated like we are a huge pain in the ass and we are interupting their social hour?

I've seen and been on both sides of the fence on this paticular floor and NEVER do I try to treat people like they are just bothersome. I treat them how I WANT to be treated and only wish that I was treated that way the few times that I actually do need to go in. Oh and let me say this is NOT all staff, this has been my experience with the night shift staff for as long as I've started having kids. The day shift seems to be much more helpful and welcoming and the postpartum I find to be the same way.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Look At My Baby Growing Up

Just had Andre's 4 yr pics taken today. Go take a look, he is such a camera ham.

Click Here To View

Well since so many people are having a hard time seeing them I'm going to post a few. Sorry about the confusion.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Just Another Day

These days seem to run the same anymore. Run my butt off and then fall into bed with exhaustion only to sleep like crap and do it all again the next day. The next month will be no different with moving and such, getting things ready for Ellie comes after that and well nothing has changed since the last time I posted about stuff with her LOL.

One day at a time, but they seem to come and go so quickly. Andre was in not so rare form today, I amaze myself at how calm I can keep because inside I'm boiling when he pulls the things he does. Anyway, he had his 4 yr check up today. Everything looks good with him, he is in the 90% for height and 40% for weight. Oh and WIC still tells me he is fat :rolls eyes: LOL. He weighs 38.6 lbs and is 42 inches tall. No wonder people think he is older then he really is.

He did get a shot today only because I'm a mean mom and opted for it. He could have waited a year for his second chicken pox shot but since he is starting school this sept I wanted to make sure I did everything in my power to keep him at least somewhat healthy especially with Kaleb in the house and a newborn. And he already needs shots next year to start Kindergarten so that is one less that he will have to have at that time. I only allow 3 pokes in one visit anyway.

Kaleb the stinker he is did pretty well today until he got tired and that was all she wrote. I can't complain though you give the kid a cup of milk and he is good to go for a little while longer.

Off to watch my show check back in tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tired

Seriously, I'm tired of doing it all myself. Yes I chose this as a mother but I never enlisted to do this on my own even though there are two adults in this household. I do this even when I'm sick and hurt and you don't blink and eye to help. I need help.

Now your sore and called into work so not only do I have to take care of the kids but you too and I'm just plain tired. Between the kids fighting and destroying things and you with your attitudes I want to just walk away and take some time for myself. Why do I have to do this by myself? This is one reason I didn't want to quit my job, I know what lies ahead of me.

I'm physically drained, sore and scared along with being emotionally tired, drained, and scared.

I feel I don't ask you for much, but you feel I ask the world of you. All I want is your time invested into your family like you care but asking that is asking to much. You want your cake and to eat it too and well I have a problem with that. Marriage is giving and taking, learning and growing. I feel like I give, learn and grow all on my own.

Please Lord give the the strength I need to get through this.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Today

I have to say that today, has been the BEST birthday we have had for him. His party isn't until this saturday but the day alone besides the actual day he was born has been the best, laid back full of love day that I could ask for and I really think he enjoyed just as much. My mom took Kaleb for the day which left Andre and I to do as we pleased. He played video games for a bit, then we went to luch at Subway(his choice) with my dad, he got a ball and glove from my dad that Andre and I played with for a while at home after lunch. We then played some WII together and then and some down time before daddy got home to take us to dinner and a movie. We ate at Wendy's(Andre's choice) for dinner in which he and I shared a Frosty and nuggets while daddy ate and then off to the movie we went.

He was so good today and it was so nice to share such a laid back day with him. After the movie we picked up Kaleb and headed to pick up his cupcakes that I ordered for him to take to school tomorrow. They give the kids animal names along with their real names at school in which they start with the same letter. So Andre is Andre Alligator, so I only seen fit that these were his cupcakes.

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4 Years Ago Today

Mike walks in from working third shift and wakes me from one of the worst dreams of my life. The dream was that I delivered my beloved son by c-section, they had to put me under and I couldn't remember a thing that happened in the week to follow. I was 38 weeks pregnant with my precious son at the time and deathly affraid of having c-section.

The day to follow, little did I know was going to be a long one. We had lunch planned with my Mother-In-Law and then an OB check later that day. We were beyond excited, he had told us to ask about being induced this week and I fully intended on doing so.

Lunch went great, had steak and chatted with my Mother-In-Law. The conversation consisted of the "what ifs" such as "wouldn't it be funny for you to go in and him say your in labor", or "what if you delivered today". Ah yes the dreams we dream when being oh so pregnant and waiting impatiently for out little ones.

We left her house in time for the doc appt. Waited the longest time we have ever waited there in a hot room full of very pregnant women. I think the wait was about an hour. We are called back, weight and urine taken and up on bed I go. Blood pressure taken and then "Oh, lay on your left side until I come back and DO NOT get up before then". Oh okay, nice. Another 10 min roll by and back in she comes to check it again. "Oh thats a little better, the doctor will be in, in just a few min.". A knock at the door with a quick open and a big grin from a fimilar face "Hi Jess, your trying to scare us today I hear". "Hello, no I'm not but I feel fine".

Dr.Vendola does his thing, we hear the heartbeat, measurments and then a "check". "Hmm your 3 cm dialated!" And then I ask the dreaded question, "you said last week to ask you about induceing, is that still an option?" He checks my chart and measures me one more time, checks the chart again, looks at me and says "how does tomorrow sound?" As I tried to catch my breath I think I answered "okay". I needed to head over to the hospital to get a NST done to make sure our Little One was holding up okay and would do okay with labor, with those instructions we headed to the desk and got further instructions as to where to go and what to do for tomorrow.

As Mike and I walk out of the office I remember a silence, I think we were both trying to grasp that tomorrow was going to be "The Day". We stopped at a pay phone and called my dad to let him know what was going on then and that tomorrow would be The Day. He promptly came to the hospital right after that phone call, for what reason I don't know, but I'm sure gald he did.

Up on the L&D floor they hooked us up to the moniter, asked if I had eaten in the last hour or so and it dawned on me that it had been at least 4 hours since eating so they brought me in a nice and dry box sandwich to choke down. Andre hadn't moved to much that day and wasn't willing to wake up for the NST then either. Off they sent me for a Biophysical Profile Ultrasound, this neat u/s that scores the baby on 8different points. This poor tech tried everything in her power to get Andre to wake up and nothing worked. So back up to the floor we went and waited for the results. The nurse came back and made a passing comment about keeping us to be induced tonight while putting the moniters back on me. Oh okay we thought. As she leaves the room my dad is sitting at the foot of my bed watching the moniters and asks me if its normal that the heartbeat keeps dropping like that. I respond with I don't know and blow it off, I was a first time mom who didn't know any better what else was I supposed to say? In walks the nurse again to tell us that Andre had failed his u/s he scored 4/8 and they were going to do a c-section right now.

At that point everything was a whirl wind. The one nurse trying to get an IV poked me 6 times and finally got it, no sooner pulled it out and realized that she had forgotten a vile. I'm beyond tears at this point, the dream I had that morning came flooding back, all these people staring at me, preping me for something that I was scared to death of and no time to process it all and no explanation as to what was going on.

The nurse digging for blood made the comment "honey you can kick me if you want to", my dad promptly replied "I wouldn't tell her that right now if I were you". Mike was off getting preped himself, in goes the cath, in comes the on call doc asking if I had any questions. I did but I was bawling and I couldn't think straight. Off he went to get preped and up off the bed I went to walk into what I thought was the OR of death.

Up on the table I went, 3 different people moved me in 3 different positions trying to figure out what position would be best for the insertion of the needle. Finally the lovely doctor told them all to stop, put me where he wanted me, talked to me through the whole thing and then said DONE! My first thought was "that was it?" my second "thank God". I was happy to be lying down and not moving around on my cath anymore!

I remember asking if it was supposed to feel like I was paralized, they laughed and said "Yes", Oh okay I didn't know that was funny, but I'll roll with it. A few pulls, pushes and elephant sitting on my chest along with a quick feeling that I was going to be sick and there was the whimper. Thats all he gave, a small whimper not even the vit K shot got him to cry. At 10:22 pm Andre Alexander Graves entered the world weighing 6lbs 10oz and was 21in long with a 13 cm head. He had jet black hair and even though all babies are born with blue eyes we knew they were going to be dark.

In recovery I was joined with Mike holding Andre and per my request Andre had not had a bottle or a paci I wanted him to breast ASAP and that he did. He was a hungry little guy who attached with no issues. After he ate and family came in to meet him, they whisked him to transition and me to my room. I was told it could be a 4hr wait before he came back. That seemed like the longest 4 hrs ever. Just as I was calling for him they were wheeling him into me. Ahh we meet again, now what do we do with him LOL? You sit and stare and admire until he cries and then you tend to him to the best of your ability and knowledge.

What a blessing we recived 4 years ago today! There is only one person to thank for this and that would be God. Without a doubt this was all his doing.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Worst Mom Of The Year Award Goes To..........

Who else but ME! Not only has Kaleb been sick for about 8 straight months, had tubes put in his ears, now has a rash that has seemed to make a home on him but he also climbed over the gate to our stairs today and fell all the way down to the bottom of about 13 stairs.

I swear to you someone was there with him because he doesn't have a bruise, scratch, red mark NOTHING on him. Thank God that it was just a very scary moment in our lives and not something on going and serious.

As for me I feel like total, complete, and utter crap. How could I let this happen? We were so lucky with Andre that it didn't happen but Kaleb is the dare devil of the two and unfortunately it happened to him. I kept my composure until about 10 min afterward and then I lost it. He by then of course was over it and trying to make me laugh but all I could think of was how could I, and the possibilities of what could come out of it.

All I've got to say is Thank You God, Angels, and Loved Ones in Heaven for watching over him.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

24 Weeks

24weeks

So here we are, 24 weeks in and about 13 left to go if I make it to 38 weeks. Notice I say IF I make it. Honestly I'm scared to death at this point. My tail bone hurts, my pubic bone hurts and worst of all my section site hurts. Everything would be okay with me if my section site didn't hurt but the way I felt today was the way I felt the day I delivered Kaleb only then it felt 10 times worse and I had contractions along with it.

Yes I've noticed that each one of my kids comes earlier then the last and I'm praying that Ellie stays put until she is supposed to be here although I highly doubt it will be the case. I don't want a NICU stay with her, I want a "normal" delivery/ hospital stay and to be discharged with her along with me when I leave. I have to laugh at "normal" because none of my kids have ever let me have "normal" they all have to make their entrance to this world a production.

Up until this point I've been feeling pretty good with the regular aches and pains that pregnant women have but now I'm analyzing every little thing and while I try to relax it's easier said then done.

In other news, she is getting stronger by the day, just a few days ago when she kicked me there was no movement on the outside and sitting here today she kicked me and I watched as my belly took life. I have to say that I'm a fan of the stage before everyone else can feel them kick. Its our own personal bonding time, every time she kicked me or nudged me it was like she was saying "hi mom, I'm here". Now, though its nice that Mike and the kids can feel her I feel our time slipping away. It's the beginning of the end in a way. Once everyone can feel her and then when she is actually out side the womb everyone wants to hold her she will never be just mine anymore. Well such is life I guess. What a blessing it is just to have her.

Andre was talking to her last night, he would say "Ellie, wake up" since I told him she was sleeping and wouldn't you know it right after he said that she kicked me. The bonding begins between the two of them I can only imagine what they will cook up in years to come to plot against me!

So on that note, I'm off to bed. The boys will be up tomorrow early and since I'm up every two hours to pee that doesn't leave a whole lot of sleep time. I can't complain though Kaleb had me up every hour on the hour to pee when I was pregnant with him ;) Can't help but love them though, they are sure worth it...........on their good days*wink, wink*

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Wow Slow The Roll

As I was counting in my head today I have roughly 15 weeks left until Miss Ellie joins us. As I said in the last post, we are NOT ready for her and while she isn't coming next week(God willing) these last 23 weeks have gone quite fast and I'm sure with everything coming up the next 15 will go even quicker. My goodness time flies!

Life is changing quickly and though I wasn't sure it was for the better at first I'm now convinced that it is for the BEST and even though change is not something I really look forward to, there is no way around it.

This summer seems to be going quickly, as fast as the new week comes it ends just as quick if not quicker. I miss the days as a child when the warm, sunny days seemed never ending. Picking veggies out of our garden, playing in the yard till well past dark(and my bedtime), running through the sprinkler and watching as the rain brought out the beautiful flowers. Gosh how I miss those long, lazy days.

Is there a way to just make them slow down anymore? I'm sure the answer is no but it is worth trying for me thats for sure. Before I know it we will be a family of 5, Kaleb will be turning 2 and then Andre will be 5. Someone push the slow mode button please!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

So Much To Do

Gosh it seems like there is so much to do in such a short period of time. We will be moving the month of Sept and pakcing for that needs to take place then getting settled. Poor Ellie has two outfits yep thats it two outfits and lets face it two outfits will last a newborn a total of an hour maybe LOL. She is kind of being put on the back burner for now as I don't want to get a bunch of stuff and then have to move it and when we make the move Andre will be getting a bigger bed, Kaleb will move to the toddler bed and the crib will move to Ellie's room BUT we have to move first.

I feel like we are pushing the time limit here but all I can do is ride through it. Andre is turning 4 on the 21st of this month and we still have to buy his present(a bike) and still have to inform people where we are celebrating. Its just going to be a small family thing but we still need to get the cake and such.

Speaking of moving and Andre we have to paint his room too as the room he is moving into is PINK! Umm I'm thinking NO. Ack where are we going to find the time to do all of this and shop for Ellie? Goodness!

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Time To Move On

As much as I don't want to, it is that time to walk out of the door that is closing and walk into the next one that opens. It is hard, leaving the people that I've come to know, love, lean on, cherish, and adore but everything has it's time and now it's mine.

Thank you to those who have blessed my life, I've learned and grown so much in the last 3 yrs it truly has been a blessing. A blessing that will never be forgotten. I know I will keep in touch with some of you and for that I'm thankful.

The support and the love that I have felt has been wonderful especially in the hardest of my times. I never expected it to end like this in a million years but for one reason or another it has and I'm positive there is a lesson behind it.......there always is.

So with having said that, thank you all again it's been three years that will never be forgotten. WARM HUGS!!!!!!!!!!