Trust In The Lord With All Your Heart.......

Lean Not On Your Own Understanding.

I have to live by this or I will lose it. There is always a lesson to be learned, and He is always with us but I know I often wonder "seriously?".

It is no secret, many families are struggling right now, we have been for a while and will more now. Mike just called to tell me two things. Good and bad news.

Bad news, his factory is shutting down on Fridays until further notice.

Good news, he still has a job.

I'm grateful for him having a job at all since I can't seem to get one, but this is very scary for me. The thought of us both being without a job is numbing, not being able to feed our kids is worse or dress them, or put a roof over their heads. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself but there needs to be a plan in case this does happen which means thinking the worst.

First and foremost, we as a family and those out there dealing with this and worse need to realize that we are NOT in control He is and He has a plan. It may suck as we walk through it but it will be okay when we have learned whatever it is that he wants us to learn.

Ask and you shall receive, I have witnessed this before myself. Know that not all prayers are answered and know that is a good thing. So pray, when you have nothing left to lean on. When you have no one left to lean on, he is there, always has been and always will be.

As I pray for you, please pray for us and every other person out there who is feeling this crunch.

Couldn't Ask For More

As I put the kids to bed tonight, I sit and listen by myself( Mike is at a friends house ) to my two beautiful, loving little boys who may fight every once in a while yell back and fourth to each other as their nightly routine. It starts usually with Kaleb and it goes something like this......

Kaleb: Ondee(Andre)

Andre: What

Kaleb: I Wove U

Andre: I love you too

Long pause

Kaleb: Ondee, knock, knock

Andre:Who is there

Kaleb: Papa or whoever comes to mind at the moment

Then it is Andre's turn for Knock, Knock. If Kaleb is upset about something it goes something like this........

Andre: Kaleb your alright, don't cry, we can play together tomorrow

Kaleb: sobbing "K"

Kaleb: Ondee

Andre: What?

Kaleb: I Wove U

Then we proceed to Knock, Knock. This will go on for a few mins sometimes its back and fourth of exchanges of "Night nights" and "I love yous" instead, but its always something. I know that growing up there will be times where they don't get along and don't want to be seen together but I pray that they will always have this same love for each other.

I remember being pregnant for Kaleb and thinking "Oh my God what have I done? Andre won't be loved as much" and so on, most moms know where I'm coming from on this. And most moms who had two or more kids told me I was giving Andre the best gift ever. I thought they were nuts, siblings don't get along they barley even like each other these days but you know what? I was wrong. These two love each other more then I could have ever asked for. They are each others best friends and while that may change in their eyes it won't when it matters.

As a mom I know I've made mistakes, and I'll continue to make them as that is what teaches us but I'm very proud of my boys as I listen to how they interact in quiet moments like this.

Ellie

My dearest Ellie, I love you so. When I look at you I can't describe the love I feel. You have filled my heart more then I could have ever imagined. The innocence in your cry, smile and giggle make me want to protect you with every bit of life inside me.

My love for you I find is very different then my love for the boys. You cling to me like I'm your every life support, you flat out refuse to eat for anyone other then me and it obviously can not be from a bottle, what were we thinking trying to give you that nasty thing? You love your dad from a distance and secretly it makes me laugh. The boys would smother you with love, hugs and kisses but we don't allow them to close because lets face it Kaleb isn't the most graceful child and your little body can't take his tank of a body.

You are so beautiful, it amazes me that you are a part of me. I want so much for you in life, and I pray that I can raise you right and give you the knowledge and tools to get what you want out of life. You are such a blessing from God.

I love you!