Dark

When the thoughts are dark it scares me and comforts me at the same time. I wonder where to turn, who to turn to and how I got here. So much has happened in the last few years that its hard to pinpoint where it started.

Why when you ask for help people blow it off? Why do they ask you what you need like you really know what you need, all you can see is darkness and yet your supposed to be able to see through that to make it better. If you could make it better on your own wouldn't you have already?

I love my family with all my heart but I see no end. Some days are happy and okay and some days are to dark to speak of. I'm tired of no one listening and saying that if I need anything they are there. No your not so stop saying it.

How is that you can have a husband and three kids, parents who stop over at least once a week, friends that call often and yet you feel alone and angry?

I'm here because I have children, boys who need their mom and a daughter who is beautiful and solely depends on me to live. Without them there would be no me.