Some Thoughts

Just some thoughts running through my head since so much has been happening with the people around us its hard not to think of things.

What is happening to this world? It seems as though everyone around me and close to me is sick and battleing something bigger then they are. This scares me but in the same breath makes me greatful for the health that me and my childern have. Let me say though it doesn't make it any eaiser watching the people I love and care for hurt and suffer.

I have friends who are ill and friends children who are ill and my grandma is battleing something that I'm not real sure she will make it through. My parents are fighting for their marriage through something that is MUCH bigger then they are and here I sit helpless.

I can't do a single thing for anyone and I don't know how to deal with that. I'm used to fixing and helping not sitting and twilting. I'm so very sorry for those of you that I can't help. I want to help, I just don't know how. Which leaves feeling helpless.

Now some darker thoughts. As a mom and a women and as someone who always worries about everything there are the what ifs. My boss just lost her husband very quicklly and unexpectedly how awful. Everyone gets lost in day to day stuff but sometimes things come up that leave us thinking "what if?". I can't imagine losing my husband right now, what would I do? How would I raise these kids and support us? God willing that won't happen but you never know.

What would I do if I lost one of my children? I've lost two already but I can't imagine losing a child that was a part of my life. Seriously I have issues with depression now I can't imagine what I would be like then.

Though I would like to say that these thoughts only come once in a great moon I can't, I think about them more then I would really like to but sometimes my mind just goes there.

God is good and I know that whatever he has in store for me, there is a reason and glory for him, but I pray daily that I have just one more day with my family where we are happy and safe.