I'm not ready for this, not at all, what so ever. I want to stick my heals into the ground and push away from the date coming up as hard as I can. Anxiety is setting in, along with worrying of what is to come. He is my precious baby who is always happy and loves me to no end, he still needs me and wants me and the way his face lights up when he sees me fills my heart with so much joy. He is beautiful and perfect, full of wonderment and joy, innocent and loving, he is perfect. I don't want this to go away, I don't want his innocents to fade. I'm struggling with this.
I'm dealing with toddlerhood now and I don't want to, I don't like this stage, Andre never seems happy anymore and I don't like that. Andre used to be full of joy and happiness but now he is uncertin and trying to find his way through this world and its taking a toll on him, as it does anyone.
We birth these beautiful, perfect little human beings but we don't realize that, thats exactly what they are human and they at one point or another become themselves, spread their wings a bit and begin to practice flying. Then one day out of now where they can fly, and navigate this world without us. How does that happen? Can't they stay little, and perfect, and happy and naive forever?
Time goes so fast and its not fair, I give anything at night for a few more minutes of cuddle time with a sleeping baby, whos breath is so sweet on my neck and his body is so warm on mine. Its just not enough and its just not fair.
1 comment:
ok now i'm crying again.
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